"Walk Around in Circles"

Does coming “full circle” mean finally feeling whole, finally feeling content, FINALLY not wanting more?  Does it mean I don’t have to travel via roller coaster? Does it mean that life won’t have peaks, and valleys?

I wonder if I will “come full circle in 2012.”  My life has been 34 circles that are attached together.   I seem to get up to the top, on a roller coaster, thrilled that I have achieved new heights, whether they are personal or professional.  Then the drop, feels like a loss of adrenaline an expected nose dive.  I don’t quite feel challenged on the way down.  Once I get to the bottom, I feel deserted and alone.  I don’t have a sense of completion, just the growing sense that things will be challenging again.  I sit and wait, on the straight stretch of track that lay before the next, challenging hill, the next opportunity to come “full circle.”

Does full circle mean the absence of promotions, money or new offices? Does full circle mean dating again, divorcing or meeting your soul mate? Does it mean stability and security?  Is it being content?

I often tell myself to wait, things will work out.  I tell myself, one day, I will “come full circle.”  I don’t think it means the end of uphill climb or new challenging opportunities.  I think it is the end of the downhill fast let down.  I believe coming “full circle” means, the plateau at the top, and feeling content with success.  It’s letting go of the chase. It  is the thrill and feeling alive because you are terrified of challenges and changes.  It’s learning to be content, in all area of life.  That’s the challenge in coming “full circle.”

The New Black in 2012

In a couple of days comes 2012, a new year arrives.  It’s around this time that one typically reflects on the past year and resolves for the future year.  I don’t make resolutions.  I don’t like the pressure of telling others what I am going to do in the year.  What if I just don’t have what it takes to truly live out what I hope to change?  What if it’s not something that will move me in a good direction? Resolutions are worn like the new black.  Everyone is wearing them and trying hard not to break them.  Once in the year a couple months, the fashion of the resolution hits the clearance rack.  Individuals tend to do 75%, 50% or 10% of a habit or behavior that they intended to be a “life changer.”

I don’t wait for a new year. I make resolutions when I need to break a habit, focus on aspects in my life or when it’s time to change.  In saying all of that, my resolution for 2012 is to not make promises to myself that I cannot keep.  Why set myself up for failure or add pressure into an already pressure filled life?

I resolve to have new experiences, meet new people and challenge my mind, body and soul.  Shouldn’t that be what all of us should resolve to do? Individuals might try living each of the 366 days of 2012 with purpose, and without regret.   Before you decide to be committed to a destined for clearance resolution, decide to change if a change is needed.  Decide to live!  Just be the best version of you, without the added pressure of a resolution that is finical like fashion.   Decide that 2012 is going to be a year that you resolve to live, let that be your new black.